Thursday, April 25, 2013

Zombies are Real or Are they? (an eyewitness account)

by Hero Jenkins 

Zombies are Real or are they?

(An eyewitness account)

We have all heard that zombies are not real. But what would you do if that lifelong belief that zombies do not and cannot exist was challenged by evidence right in front of your eyes.
Read this true story and tell me what you think.
It was one of those nights, a dark, cloudy, overcast night. There was no moon visible and the streetlights weren’t nearly enough. The wind was blowing just enough to move branches and bushes to where an active imagination could conjure just about anything it wanted.
Late one night, on a night like this, two rookie police officers were dispatched to check on a young woman, a newlywed, who was home alone. Her husband, who was travelling and nervous about leaving her, had been unable to contact her. When the officers entered the house they found the woman lying on the couch in the living room… she was nude and from a distance she appeared to be dead.
But that discovery is not the end of this story, in fact it is only the beginning. So now you are wondering… what could this have to do with zombies? Read on and find out.
The call from the dispatcher was for the officers to investigate what is known as “suspicious circumstances”. What that means is that something out of the ordinary is going on but nobody really knows what. In this case a businessman was away from his new bride and on the other side of the country. He had been unable to contact his wife all day and he was scared and desperate for someone go check it out. Fearing the worst the businessman had called the police.
There are a couple of things you should know before continuing with this story. Most rookie police officers are assigned to the graveyard shift (midnight or so to 7 am when normal people are asleep). Most have never worked it before which means they are ill-equipped to deal with the inevitable effects of sleep deprivation. Add to the mix that these particular officers had just spent their day off watching a “Dawn of the Dead” marathon.
The officers arrived and immediately headed for the shadows. They made their approach quietly while shrouded in darkness. Their destination was a townhouse, one of those where the carport was in the rear and just off a common driveway. Beyond the carport was a rickety old wooden fence and beyond that was a small yard and then a sliding glass door that led to the kitchen/dining area.
The back gate was unlatched and was slowly being pushed back and forth. The sliding glass door had been pushed and left open, the curtains were being whipped about by the wind.
Something bad had happened here!
They could feel it in their bones. There was no way the woman was still alive. Nobody leaves their sliding glass door open on a night like that… nobody!
Both officers removed their guns from their holsters as they crept through the gate and across the yard. When they reached the sliding door, the first officer (let’s call him Eddie) used the wall for cover while the second officer (we’ll call him Frank) grabbed the wall on the other side of the door.
Eddie peeked into the townhouse. As expected he was looking into the kitchen. It was a small townhouse and he could see most of the living room, a hallway to the right and some of the bedroom beyond. The interior was dark and deathly still. Nothing moved, except the curtains on the far side of the living room as they were gently tossed about by the wind.
Both officers eased into the kitchen and after they crossed the room they took up positions behind the wall separating the kitchen from the living room. Just then the moon peeked out and bathed the interior with an eerie almost florescent blue glow. Both officers turned off their flashlights preferring the natural light. When their eyes adjusted… they saw her. She was face up on the couch and she appeared to be dead.
“Somebody needs to check her pulse, to make sure she is dead,” Eddie whispered.
“OK… you go ahead… I’ll cover you,” Frank replied immediately.
“You go,” Eddie suggested quietly. “I don't like touching dead bodies.”
“Oh, and I do?” Frank whispered back angrily. “Besides, I checked the last one.”
He was right. About a week ago they had been sent to check on an elderly gentleman who had not been seen by neighbors for three days. They found him dead in the recliner with the remote still in his hand.
Eddie relented and crept forward. He walked slowly being careful not to make noise on the creaky wood floor. With each step he drew closer and everything he saw confirmed in his mind that she was in fact dead. She was a young woman mid twenties or so if he had to guess. She probably would have been considered pretty, that is, of course, if she wasn’t dead. She was thin and fit, but her skin was a creepy, ghostly, blue/pale color. Most likely due to lividity which happens to bodies that have been dead for any period of time. Lividity is caused when gravity begins to pull the now un-circulating blood down to the lower extremities. As a result the rest of the body, now bloodless, looks pale and lifeless. 

Yep… she is definitely dead. Eddie remembered thinking.
The moon was darting in and out of the clouds so the available light eerily came and went. There was enough ambient light though so he held off on using his flashlight. He actually preferred not to use his flashlight in a situation like this because the flashlight tended to ruin his night vision.
Another step, Eddie noticed that she didn’t appear to be breathing, another confirmation that she was dead.
He took a step closer; she passed gas, which was also not unusual… dead bodies did that from time to time. It was gross, but it happens.
Eddie could make out a number of sores and blisters on the body. He also noted what could have been bruises on her face, chest and legs.
Could be signs of a struggle, he reasoned.
Eddie was close enough and so he slowly extended his hand intending to touch her carotid artery and check her pulse. He glanced nervously back at Frank. Frank nodded reassuringly. “Don’t worry partner, I got your back.” His look said.
Eddie turned back to the woman and a second later his fingers touched her neck. It was at that moment the dead woman’s eyes snapped open. She sat up on the couch and started screaming. Eddie freaked out! 

"What the F@%#..." Eddie screamed. 

His brain refused to reconcile what his eyes were seeing. From the doorway in the kitchen Frank started screaming too. 

“Shoot her, she’s a zombie!” He shouted. 

Eddie had jumped back his flashlight was on now and it was trained on the zombie, so was Frank’s from back in the kitchen.
The zombie jumped to her feet and was shifting her gaze between the two officers. She just stood there, her lifeless pale/blue skin highlighted only by blisters and boils. Her hair, in clumps shot straight out from her head and was as wild and angry as that maniacal expression on her face. Then the zombie started screaming again. It was one of those high-pitched screams that could scramble your brain and make your ears, nose and eyes bleed.

Everybody was screaming, no one was listening.  
“Shoot! Shoot that B!@%#&!” Frank shouted.
Eddie was still frozen as everything he had just learned from all of those zombie movies clashed with what reasonableness was still left in his head.
“She’s a zombie… shoot her in the head!” Frank shouted. 
He was right. Everybody knows you are supposed to shoot zombies in the head. That’s the only way to stop em. And she was a zombie… wasn’t she? I mean she was dead just a second ago wasn’t she?
The standoff ended when the naked female zombie ran from the living room to the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Eddie retreated to his original position opposite Frank in the kitchen.
“Damn it!” Frank shouted. “You let her get away!”
“You could have shot her! If you’re so sure she’s a zombie, why didn’t you shoot her!” Eddie fired back.
Before Frank could answer the bedroom door cracked open and a trembling voice said, "You had better get out of here. I just called the police."
"Ma'am, we are the police."
“Why are you in my house?”
It turned out that she really wasn’t a zombie. When her husband left on his business trip she decided to surprise him when he returned with a full body tan. But she had drunk a little too much wine and had fallen asleep in the sun. She had been severely sunburned (which accounted for the sores and blisters). She was burned so bad that it hurt her to move. So she lathered herself up with some kind of lotion designed for severe sunburn (which accounted for the pale blue color of her skin). She had taken a couple of Vicodin, which was left over from recent root canal surgery. And then she passed out on the couch. She never heard the phone ring. She didn’t realize that she had left the door open. She had no idea how the gate had gotten open. But the latch was faulty so they guessed it had been the wind.
The moral to this story is to be careful what you fill your mind with. Zombie movies are harmless entertainment until you have that perfect storm where you have watched too many of them and find yourself sleep deprived and confronted with an extreme circumstances. In this perfect storm your mind allows you to consider that the impossible could happen. Like zombies can really exist. Can you imagine these officers trying to explain why they shot this woman in the head? Would the defense: “Well Sarge, I thought she was a zombie,” hold up in the light of day once the fog has cleared? Of course not!
So please for everyone’s sake… don’t watch zombie movies or ghost stories late at night if you are taking medication or if you are crazy or just sleep deprived. It can cloud your judgment and cause you to think that perhaps zombies are real when everyone knows that there is no such thing as zombies… just sayin?
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