How do you want your eggs?

How do you want your eggs?

by Hero Jenkins

My wife and I were having breakfast at a local restaurant when we noticed an elderly couple at a nearby table. The waitress had arrived and was trying to complete their order but they seemed to be stuck on the issue of the man’s eggs.

“How would you like your eggs,” the waitress asked patiently.

“Huh?” The man replied.

“How do you want your eggs cooked?”

“Huh?”

“Your eggs… how do you want them?”

“Huh?”

Before the waitress could ask again, the man’s wife had had enough and decided to get involved.

“How do you want your eggs!?!?” She was screaming at the man in one of the loudest, shrillest voices I had ever heard. 

All conversation in the restaurant stopped and all eyes were upon this elderly couple as she loudly went through a list of possible options.

“Do you want them scrambled, over easy or sunny side up,” she screamed.

“Scrambled… soft,” he said finally. There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Mercifully the egg controversy ended and everyone got back to their own breakfast.

I motioned my wife to lean in because I had something that I needed only her to hear. And with an almost desperation in my voice I said, “I don’t care how bad it gets, don’t you ever scream at me like that… just order the damn eggs for me… after all these years you should know how I like them.”

She nodded and then she smiled… it was one of “those” smiles, if you’ve been married for any period of time you know what I mean. Something was going on in that brain of hers and I had missed it and she wasn’t saying.