Tattoos and Piercings

by Hero Jenkins

"Voluntary" tattoos used to be limited to sailors and convicts - where men were confined to small spaces for long periods of time. And if you saw a tattoo you were usually dealing with one or the other.

I am not a big fan of tattoos; I don’t think I ever will be. I "get" the concept of body art. And although I disagree, I understand the desire to decorate one’s body. What concerns me is the permanence of it. 

Other than my wife (and sometimes my kids) I can’t think of anything I can honestly say I'd want to have forever.

We disco danced in platform shoes and wore dashikis and pants so tight they cut off the circulation… everywhere. We put caustic chemicals in our hair to make Jheri curls. So I am in no position to look down my nose and point an accusing finger. But I didn’t do anything permanent and that’s the difference.

Can you imagine anything you did as a kid that you would want with you forever?

Here’s an example, where the names have been changed to protect the stupid. Romeo falls in love and gets “Juliette” tattooed on his neck. He later learns that he and Juliette can never be because not only do their parents hate each other but Juliette has always really loved Bill. Oops... Now what?!

I saw on TV where a football player had his name tattooed on his back exactly as it appeared on his jersey so people could tell who he was whether his shirt was on or off. 

Crazy... Right?

The current generation has also embraced plastic surgery and implants. I hear they have implants you can put in your abdomen to give yourself an instant six-pack. I wonder what happens when that flat six-pack belly turns into a keg. It’s going to look kind of funny to see a set of fully defined abs on a protruding beer belly.

I knew a guy who had a screw embedded in his skull with the threads pointing up. That way he could attach a spike to his head. I have no idea why. These are extreme cases, I know, and most of you won’t go this far (but some of you will)

I’m not a fan of howling in the wind so I will stop short of preaching. I am just an observer, documenting for future reference when someone looks back at this whole phenomenon and wonders if everybody was involved.

But I will leave you with this. We don’t yet know the long-term ramifications of body art. I have seen old sailors with their anchors resembling a pretzel on their sagging wrinkled skin. But these modern canvases? The jury is still out.